Recently I was chatting with a group of moms, and I was surprised when one of them announced: “I figured out how to manipulate my husband from the very beginning.” Spouse manipulation is a touchy subject. I didn’t want to admit to myself, let alone advertise to a crowd of my peers, that I was gifted and talented in the area of spouse manipulation. But in the ice rink we call marriage, I have to admit that I’ve pulled off a few triple axels of manipulation in my time.
One of my favorite movie quotes of all time is from My Big Fat Greek Wedding: “The man might be the head of the house, but the woman is the neck, and she can turn the head any way she wants!” I have to admit, it’s kind of fun being the neck.
I remember when my husband once told me, “I’m psychic. I think there’s something you’re hiding from me, and you won’t tell me about it till it’s too late.” It was true. My mind flashed. I bit my lip and looked away. How could he know this? Because he knew me! Yes, I had gotten us tickets to see Cher in Vegas, and I hadn’t told him yet. Soon I’d have him wishing he could turn back time, to the moment when he didn’t yet know he was going to a Cher concert. “But you’ve got me, babe!” I’d reassure him, as if this were some kind of consolation prize that would make that upcoming all-you-can-eat buffet of diva more palatable.
Even as I write, I admit I’m plotting how I’m going to get my husband to do that next thing he doesn’t want to do. Please don’t tell him.
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